The Logic Behind the 298 Yuan Luoyang IM E-Sports Theme Hotel Apartment: When the Computer Tech Is Away, Nothing Gets Done – Zequi Takes You Inside

Today the sun is bright, today it’s cloudy turning clear, and today my mood can be summed up in two words: hungry. So I headed to Nanguan, spent 6 kuai on a small bowl of beef soup, 2 kuai on a baked flatbread, and I was full. As Mr. Gorky taught us: once fed, desire arises. And my “desire” came all too quickly, so without a second thought I started picking a hotel. After much browsing, guess what? The IM E-sports Theme Hotel Apartment’s ad on “Xiecheng” (a travel site) caught my eye – partly because the internet café was closed, leaving me restless and itching to play. The hotel’s online rating wasn’t bad, but the price was a bit steep. They say the poor man’s ambition is short, and the skinny horse’s mane is long. But hey, I had an itch. Gritting my teeth, steeling myself, stomping my foot – my heel fell off. I quickly grabbed some super glue, fixed the heel, and shelled out 298 “silver dollars” for a double e-sports room. As for the PCs, the comfort, and the surroundings – I’d only know after checking in. Don’t rush, folks – here’s the real deal:

**PC Hardware & Software**

I ran Master Lu to check the specs: the graphics card is an RTX 2060, supposedly supporting ray tracing. The CPU is a 9th-gen i5. The operating system is Windows 7. And I have to complain here: I wanted to test Battlefield V to see the ray tracing effect and give the hotel some credit, but the internet speed was like a bicycle on a highway – even if you pedal like crazy, you’re stuck. The game would take 20 hours to download. When I reported the slow speed to the front desk, the young lady made a phone call and finally concluded: “The supervisor in charge of computers isn’t at his desk, so nothing can be done right now.” The supervisor isn’t at his computer? Second Battalion Commander, where’s my Italian cannon?

Humbly and prudently, I browsed their game library. Not a huge variety, but it had the typical internet café staples: Dota 2, League of Legends, PUBG, etc. I tested the experience with Battlefield V (single-player mode – I could only use that since the download wasn’t finished after 20 hours; their download speed was mind-numbing) and PUBG. The visuals were decent, gameplay relatively smooth – overall unremarkable, but acceptable given the specs. I couldn’t test ray tracing because Windows 7 doesn’t support it. Alas! Couldn’t gild the lily. It’s tough being a decent guy.

The hotel is located at the intersection of Lixin Road and Liaoning Road, 50 meters west on the north side, Building 52, Unit 2, 22nd Floor (lots of 2s indeed). Parking downstairs is tight – you’ll have to figure it out. The front desk is in Room 2201. The young lady there was quite pretty, but her work environment… well, used sheets and duvet covers from the guest rooms were bundled into two big bags, casually piled aside. The paid beverages, however, were neatly arranged. The deposit is 200 yuan, payable in cash or WeChat. No weird smells at the front desk, but it felt a bit cramped and cluttered – understandable since it’s a converted residential apartment.

**Overall Guest Room Environment**

The room is not small – I measured 30.6 square meters, and the listing on “Xiecheng” said 30 square meters of floor area, which is fairly accurate. However, there were issues they couldn’t handle well. The room was converted from an apartment: to the left of the entrance is the bathroom and shower. But when I walked to the window, I found two “abandoned” sinks with thick drainpipes wrapped haphazardly in fake plastic vines – dusty and obviously uncleaned. The abandoned sinks themselves hadn’t been touched in ages, and there was some fine trash inside. I realized these were original fixtures that couldn’t be utilized due to location. So, while their listed area is honest, the actual usability is worrisome. Other points: lighting – there’s a window with plenty of dust. There are lights, all wall sconces – two were out, and the rest had uneven brightness. Honestly, it was disheartening.

**Guest Room Hygiene**

(1) Computer area hygiene

Let’s put it this way: the carpet in the computer area was riddled with burn holes from cigarette butts – hole after hole. Understandable – they want you to see the floor color underneath. The e-sports chairs were a bit hard – understandable – they want you to sit up straight. The mouse is a Logitech G402; the two keyboards were different brands – one was FULING’s “Tiansheng Player,” the other was FAMI. We’ll get to the keyboard/mouse quirks later. As for the mouse, it was covered with clear fingerprint marks – you could probably unlock a fingerprint scanner with them. The keyboards had white dust inside, probably ash or dirt – understandable – they want to remind you to watch your own hygiene. And the monitors – the power plugs and the backs of the monitors were coated with a thick layer of dust. If I scraped it off, I could probably have enough to plaster a sink. That’s not understandable. Is it really that hard to wipe with a cloth when cleaning? If I blew on it, I’d trigger a “dust storm” for a minute.

(2) Bathroom/shower area hygiene

To make a long story short – though I’m terrible at it. The sink: the toothbrush cup had obvious wear marks, and the toothbrush had a lot of water stains, as if it had been rained on and then dried. The sink stopper is normally embedded and fixed, but here it was pulled out and tossed aside – who knows what happened. The toilet had weak suction, and drainage was sluggish. The towel had many holes and dirty spots – speechless. The shaving foam: let’s not even mention the surface, but the iron can’s bottom was rusty – really disgusting. I took a closer look: it was manufactured in 2017. I wouldn’t dare use it. And the facial cleanser – I think it was supposed to be a red volcanic mud type, because there was a big “lump” on the surface – I didn’t even touch it. The showerhead was even worse. Usually, the hand-held shower has a holder to fix it, but here the holder was so loose that it just rested there. When I turned on the water – and I admit I set it a bit hot – the water pressure made the showerhead tilt downward. If the water had hit my back, it would have been okay, but instead it sprayed right on the lower abdomen area, gentlemen. You know that pain, right?

There are many ways to get rich – last year selling crutches, this year selling cars. The big swindler selling a bicycle for just over a hundred is one thing, but take a look at this compensation price list. Whether it’s expensive or not – I won’t say – you decide for yourselves.

Actually, I should have tested other metrics as usual, but given what I’d seen, it felt unnecessary. To put it plainly, this isn’t a competitive gaming hotel; it’s more like an internet café that opened in 2018 with two beds added. I spent 298 yuan for one night here. If you come across an ad for this hotel, please think twice.